staying true to myself

“the truth is that they are the most honest.” this is how harry recently described his fans when he was on royal court with brittany broski (still cannot believe this). he mentions that loving a band so deeply that it makes you emotional is a ‘weirdly vulnerable’ and ‘scary thing’ to do. he says, “a lot of the time their opinion can be cast aside as hysteria, or their taste can be questioned.”

hearing this gave me flashbacks to so many moments in my life. my first time crying at a concert: the jonas brothers / a little bit longer, duh. making t-shirts with puff paint to go see cody simpson perform at a mall. staying up for hours talking about one direction with my best friends, arguing over who was going to marry whom. seeing harry perform solo for the first time and just holding onto myself. making friends at concerts, trading friendship bracelets, falling in love with new bands, and traveling at the drop of a hat to see them perform 8 hrs+ away.

the reaction to these things was always the same: crazy, obsessive, fanatic, obnoxious, annoying, fangirl. slowly, i took down the posters on the wall, archived all my old concert posts, and stopped telling people my favorite artists. my fine line tattoo is hidden, so i could get away with it pretty well. i was tired of being dismissed when it came to my interests. watching this interview reminded me of who i am & who i will always be.

it feels like that part of new girl where jess says, “i rock a lot of polka dots. i have touched glitter in the last 24 hours… and that doesn't mean i'm not smart and tough and strong.” loving something bright and joyful does not make someone stupid. caring deeply does not cancel out intelligence.

writing someone off because they went to the eras tour is so incredibly small-minded. being passionate is not embarrassing. feeling things deeply is not cringe. it is brave. i think some people mock it because they have never let themselves experience that kind of joy, the kind that makes you feel alive and safe at the same time. i'm not saying everyone has to love pop music, i cannot survive another ticketmaster war, but making fun of people for loving something wholeheartedly says more about you than it ever will about us.

people should not be ridiculed for loving things deeply. that kind of sincerity is rare. and it deserves to be protected, not mocked. to be in the same room as my closest friends and my favorite artists, and hundreds or thousands of strangers feeling how i’m feeling, i feel whole. it brings me and my best friends closer together. it is a silent agreement in that moment that we see each other.

hearing my favorite person reassure me that i am living my honest truth means the world to me.

i think a lot about the little girls who are discovering their favorite artists, cutting out photos from magazines (i hope this still happens), and changing their instagram bio to their fav’s concert dates. i hope they are never made to feel less for their interests. to be so brave and honest, i admire them.

i’m hanging my posters back up. 12 yr old me would love them.

circa 2012

˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

with all of that being said, let me get this off my chest:

• guilty as sin is the best song ever created

• i love harry styles

• its one direction forever and always

ok love you all, mean it.