i saw lorde

i had known that lorde was coming to LA for a while but it didn't feel necessary for me to go to the show. i had listened to Virgin when it came out on repeat but eventually put it up on the shelf & hadn't reached for it in months. i woke up yesterday, was driving around and looked at tickets around 2pm. i decided last minute that i should go because i do love lorde and the openers but i did not know what i was in for. i hadn't seen any content from the show other than something about a treadmill and her wearing boxers on stage.

she opens the show with hammer and then goes on to play a mix of her discography, pulling out songs i never thought i would hear live like Buzzcut Season and No Better. i had a mix of tears, snot, and glitter running down my face for 2.5 hours. sorry, tmi i guess.

i almost always cry at concerts, i can't help it. there is something about hearing your favorite songs live, being in the same room as this person that wrote something that you have attached yourself to, it is so beautiful, rare, and makes me feel incredibly fortunate to be alive. everyone there has a different connection to this piece of music but we are all there, together, watching the person who birthed it, sing it back to us. magic!

melodrama was released about 8 years ago now. i have shed multiple versions of myself in those 8 years but the one thing that hasn't changed is my answer to "what is your favorite album?". it is melodrama forever.

i think of blasting the album when coming home from bonnaroo in the middle of the night, perfect places kept me awake. i think of journaling in my room with my headphones in and liability on repeat. i think of getting my heart broken, putting myself back together, & then screaming greenlight in the car when i knew i was going to be alright. i think of my best friend, how she loved it as dearly as i did and it brought us closer.

singing supercut last night with everyone was restorative, i did not know how much i needed that. lorde talked a bit about the state of the world and how coming together to be in agony and ecstasy as a whole, is the medicine that can help. being a part of something larger than myself when times are so dark, gave me a flicker of hope.

i want that kind of feeling for everyone. i want everyone to have snot and glitter going down their face when they hear their favorite album live. i want it to give them hope, a reason to keep going. things will be okay as long as we have each other & we have music to bond us. that is my version of religion.

i try not to take these moments for granted, i know it is difficult to go see artists these days. i try to be in the moment as much as i can, whether that was putting my phone down & holding onto myself as she sang liability or dancing alone to ribs. i have never regretted going to a concert, and in this case, i am better for it.

last night was wild & fluorescent, thank you lorde.

also, i can't post this without mentioning her bringing out charli xcx for girl, so confusing. talk about healing!!!! i love charli, that song, the pov it has on female friendships, and two girls just working it out (on the remix). once a brat, always a brat.